Shell Games

Music: Shell Games by Bright Eyes (the more i listen to his new cd the more i like it....at first i was like "its not the same!" but then I realize.....THATS WHATS SO GREAT ABOUT IT! Theres new things but then the same things as always!)





What I Wore:

Skirt: Some mall stand $30

Top: Arden B. $0

Belt: friend

Jean Jacket: Kohls $4

I really wanted to wear my leotard with this because its a halter, but i realized i had dance at school today and we change in a locker room...so people in regular pe would probably think i was really weird if they saw that i was wearing a leotard. hehe. 

My Floating Balloon: Today my balloon has my figure. Which sounds very strange i know. I've put myself on a diet. I finally did it! I was scared to tell anyone at first because all my friends look at me weird whenever i tell them I want to lose weight. They always say "but your not fat" and I know! I never ever would call myself fat, because i'm not. I would like to say that I'm on this diet to eat healthy, but I'm not. I really do want to lose weight. Here is the thing, and my point to this balloon. I don't think I am fat but I'm still not comfy in my body. I want to be a few sizes smaller because I'm not happy being this weight. Last year I was about maybe 10 pounds lighter. And even then i was a smidgen too big. I do not plan at all!!!!!!! to diet anyway that will harm myself! I get really scared that people will think that because i want to lose weight so much. I have made my food plan, my healthy lunches, counted my calories and added them for the perfect, healthy, amount for the day. I just want to be happy in my skin and wear anything i want when i want to. That's all! It's important to be happy in your body even if you are a little big or too small, as long as youre happy then It really doesnt matter. You only live once though, so make sure that you figure out what will make you happy.

<3 Thanks for reading

Steal My Salvation

Music: This Modern Love by Bloc Party



Today I Wore:

I took my $20 of birthday money and went on down to salvation army and got myself some stuff! This whole outfit is salvation army! In total cost about $11

Red Boat Shirt: $2

Black Vest: $5

Denim Shorts: $2

Black Boots: $2

I also got these glasses from salvation army for $1. The lenses in them are about I       I thick. So the old man who wore these was practically blind! I'm going to try and ask my eye doctor to put my lenses in them. Crossing my fingers that they can!

My Floating Balloon: I don't really have anything inspirational to say to you. Probably because my brain is fried from the first day back from school after spring break. So i will leave you with some inspirational pictures/typography



<3 Thanks for reading

If I had my sanity where would i be?

MUSIC: Sun Hands by Local Natives (anyone who has been around me recently knows how obsessed i am with this song. I cant get it out of my head. The transitions in this song are just....amazing i dont know! I just love it)




So i am very sad because right now, as we speak, coachella is happening. If you dont know what that is, its a big music festival here in california. AND let me tell you, almost ALL of my favorite bands are going to be there. Like.... seriously. But i couldnt get tickets because it sold out in the first.....week or less :(
Its very tragic.

PICTURES:

i love my drunken looking face in the last one.

haha

My aunt said these are very...green. I agree!

Dress: Urban $10

Socks: School

Red wedges: Target $6

This week has been spring break and i really havent accomplished a whole lot. My room is still a mess and my life is as boring as it always is. I have spent the last few days watching reruns on youtube of my favorite show when i was in 5th 6th and 7th grade called Wildfire. Its about horses...but not really. Thats just the setting, like the revolving thing but its an old abc family show so it has drama and all that good stuff. You know how when you start reading a book or watch a show and you just get really involved in the characters life, like you feel like its your life too and then you finish the book or the seasons over and you feel kind of empty and beside yourself. That's how i feel. I don't know what to do now that ive watched all 4 seasons and well....its been over for almost 4 years. :(

ANYWAY

My Floating Balloon: Today my balloon has your room. Even if you dont have your own room, you still have that place that kind of shows touches of who you are and makes you feel safe. At least i do. My room is a dead give away of who i am. It shows every aspect of me in every face of my life... and i really like that. It reminds me of who i am and what i've done. I have pictures of my favorite people and artists and bands on my wall, my door, my bulletin board. I have hats on the walls and pictures of fashion issues of W and bazaar magazine stacked on my book shelf to show how much fashion plays a huge part in my life. I have my moms modeling photos and a picture of my two best friends and me framed letting people know the kind of people who make me who i am. I have barbies posed and dolls and stuffed animals to remind me of my childhood. Books and books and clothes and clothes pushed into my closet. Every little thing in my room shows who i am and what i came from, what i like and what makes me...me. If anything all of this just makes me feel comfy. When i lay in my antique bed i got a garage sale or something in my ikea sheets and look around the room i just kind of feel like im in my mind. Its cluttery and messy and really needs a good vacuuming. But its my space and its where i do my best thinking. I think we all need that. Dont you?

<3 Thank you for reading.

Carpe Diem

MUSIC: Mount Wroclai (Idle Days) by Beirut




Yesterday I wore.....

Today i wore:

1st:

                                                 Purple and black stripe sweater: Salvation Army $2
                                                         blue and black knit shorts: Urban $9
                                                                             socks: dance
                                                                            shoes: Urban

2nd:

White blouse: moms closet (h&m)

pants: urban $9

boots: Moms closet (fossil)

So the first outfit is my "casual" outfit. Its really funny to me because i am not one of those people who can just throw on a tshirt and jeans and go, no, i have to plan my outfit accordingly and if i want a casual outfit i have to over think it and make one.... and it never comes out casual. This outfit was actually pretty comfy though, cause of the knit shorts. i wanted to wear something comfy the day coming back from being sick...AGAIN! this is the 3rd time in about oh....two months! that i've been sick and its starting to get on my nerves!!!!

Anysways i got the pants in the second one from urban. I originally got some harem pants that had a floral print and this blue blouse to match, but when i got home to look at them the pants were completely torn above the elastic near the ankles as if someone had tried it on and decided to just jam their foot in it! so pissed! they were amazing! and the blouse was missing a button...which normally wouldn't bug me but i was just kind of sinking in it because it was so huge. Anyway it just proves urbans bad quality of the clothes for the price you pay...even though everything is so freaking cute! But i realized how much i like going to urban just for the inspiration. I plan to take the rest of my birthday money down to salvation army with that inspiration in mind and go crazy! thats really all urban is though....really expensive replicas of things you can buy at a goodwill or salvation army store.

My Floating Balloon: Today my balloon has life. It floats up to the sky never looking back... because life just doesnt look back. I realize i must have had life in my floating balloon once before, but i feel its relavent to myself right now. Obviously i guess. But especially right now. With everything happening right now i feel like Life is just....here. Take whats happening in Japan. Seeing all those people suffering for something that was out of their hands is devistating. And watching my mom worry about all the relatives we have there is horrible. Some of their lives there in Japan cannot be saved. And with the recent death of someone at school and finding out a few weeks ago that my aunt has stage 4 lung cancer and tumors in her brain, bones, and a broken hip and watching my mom cry more then i've ever seen her cry, i guess it's just all kind of sinking in you know? I don't worry about my life as much as i worry about others i think. I realize that life is short and that you just have to forget everything that has ever brought you down, everyone who has ever screwed you over, and all the things about yourself you just hate. Forget everything. All of it. And just live. I realize that. But i know so many people who just dont. And sometimes i stay up really late in bed and think about them. My closest friend more then anything. My mom sometimes. And i just worry about them. Worry that they may never see whats a head of them and that they'll keep looking back. That they wont ever know how much i care for them and love them and think about them more then i know i should. I just want them to take life in. Just live it. Stop relying on things to make you feel better, things that just wont, and just smile at what you have. The good things that you have. Not the bad. A home. Friends. Family. whatever. And then look at Japan. Look at Haiti. Look at the boy from schools picture in the yearbook. And my aunt lying in her bed. And realize that hey, you arent them right now. No one is telling you you don't have something to look foreward to. You do. You have life always there by your side. So go live it.

Sorry for the long and depressing post. Love you all. <3 Thanks for reading.